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How to help your twin babies sleep like angels!

If you are to really enjoy your twin’s precious infancy, it is important that you and they get plenty of sleep.
Julia and James Hamill, parents of twins tell Andrea how they coped, and survived to tell the tale!

The early days: Julia describes the first few days after coming home from hospital with her babies as “a nightmare!”

She found it difficult to establish any kind of a routine, and felt that she was constantly having to leave one baby out whilst she dealt with the needs of the other one. Fortunately she was well supported by her husband, James and together they muddled through this exhausting but amazing time.

After about 8 weeks they had introduced a bed time routine, and both babies were sleeping for most of the night. They felt much more relaxed, in control and the babies were well rested and contented.

The secret of their success was as follows:

1. The early introduction of a highly repetitive bed time routine. Julia made good use of simple sleep clues such as songs, repeated phrases and a familiar sleep environment.

2. After a milk feed at around 7pm, both babies would be put down AWAKE. When they first did this, the babies would take some time lying awake, cooing, kicking and sometimes “grizzling.” In a very short time this wakeful period got gradually shorter and both babies began to fall asleep quickly and easily.

3. Before the babies were taking solids, Julia and James would wake them at around 10pm for a second milk feed, and once again put them back in their cot, making sure that they were well winded and sleepy, but awake.

4. One of the babies was a better sleeper than the other. Despite being in the same cot, however, he was rarely disturbed by his more wakeful sister! This was because he was very accustomed to her presence and her sounds. Julia heartily recommends having baby twins sleep close to one another. She feels that it prevents them from feeling lonely in the middle of the night, and that the comfort that they gain from being near to each other means that they are less likely to need their parents.

5. At first, they put the babies in a Moses basket each, placed “top to tail” in the same large cot. They slept like this until they were 15 weeks old, and then they were each given a separate cot, placed in parallel and very close to each other.

6. After the ten o’clock feed, they did not change nappies in the night unless they were soiled.

One of the major difficulties with managing twins’ sleep is how to cope with early waking.

As Julia and James found, at the beginning of the night, one twin is unlikely to disturb the other one with her wakefulness. This is because sleep is deeper in the early part of the night, and the sleeping twin is tired enough to ignore the familiar disruption going on around him.

HOWEVER, at 5 am in the morning, sleep is lighter and one wakeful twin really can disturb the other sleepy one.

Many parents find the best solution is to bring the awake baby into their bed. Sadly, this often has negative repercussions, with the wakeful baby often waking earlier and earlier in anticipation of the move into the big bed. Some babies will even fail to settle at all in their own cots, feeling that they are merely in a temporary space that is not their “REAL” bed.

For Julia and James, this was the beginning of a difficult period, which took several months to resolve itself.

The best solution to this tricky situation is to keep both twins in their own cot/s, despite the disruption, your own sleep deprivation, and the despair of your neighbours! You may find that initially, you need to stay close by until the babies either go back to sleep or it is time for the day to begin.

Babies under 6 months or not yet taking solid food 3 times a day, will often require a milk feed at dawn. After this feed, it is important to put them back into their cot awake and encourage them to stay there until getting up time. [Ideally at least 11 hours after their initial bed time.]

If you repeatedly allow your baby/babies to get up at dawn, they will never have the opportunity to learn to settle back off to sleep. You may need to sit quietly with them without playing or talking, but soothing them through the inevitable crying, until they eventually go back off to sleep.

During this difficult period, it is important to go to bed early yourself, and be mentally prepared to get up at dawn when they wake, and invest this time with your babies. It makes sense that if you have a supportive partner, you are able to share the burden of getting up early. Julia and James would alternate their “dawn duty” and this prevented them from becoming exhausted.

Try not to worry too much about one baby being disturbed by the other. This is a transient period and babies are amazingly resilient. If you are able to demonstrate a calm manner and to feel in control of the situation, your babies will feel calm and safe too, and their distress will be minimal. They will soon benefit from a longer night’s sleep.

To ensure that twins maintain good sleeping habits, follow these guidelines:

1. Let them sleep close to each other.

2. Follow a highly familiar bedtime routine.

3. Always put them in their cot/s awake.

4. Do not allow fears of one disturbing the other lead you into a complicated night time scenario of “musical beds!” 5. Help them to feel safe by your loving, confident and consistent manner.

* Remember, one of the most wonderful things about twins is that they have each other! Unlike, single babies, they do not suffer the loneliness of being left alone to sleep through the night.